Over Protective Fool
by kaylinwriter14
Summary: After Edward says Emmett can't take Bella out to have "Emmett's idea of fun", Emmett decides Edward is over protective, and Bella needs to relax and have some fun. So what's he do about it? He spikes her drink, of course. Post-Eclipse, Cannon Couples.
1. What happened?

"Hey Bella!" Emmett called out as soon as Edward and I walked into the Cullen's spacious living room.  
"Hey Emmett!" I called out before taking a bite of the cookie that was leftover from the lunch I'd grabbed at home.  
"Absolutely not." Edward said through gritted teeth  
"Aww come on!" Emmett protested.  
"Bella is not doing that." Edward answered firmly.  
"What?" I asked, a little annoyed that they were leaving me out of a conversation about that was me… and that it was mostly mental.  
"Emmett thought it would be fun, to take you skydiving in Seattle today… He wanted to see how you would handle it." Edward said in his smooth, silky voice, glaring at Emmett.  
"I think it'd be fun to see how bad she would freak." Emmett chuckled.  
Then Rosalie, Alice and Jasper walked inside. Rosalie and Alice walked over and sat on the couch, Jasper sat in the recliner, in the corner of the room, far away from me.  
Edward closed his eyes and sighed. "Emmett, please try and control your thoughts." He said, in frustrated voice. Well… the most frustrated velvet can ever sound.  
I looked up at Edward, confused.  
Then I looked back at Alice and Rosalie. The only thing that would have changed the course of Emmett's thoughts was their arrival.  
My eyes widened as I took into consideration what Rosalie was wearing, a halter-top dress, and it was a deep purple color. The main thing though, was that it was tight- very tight- and was extremely short, the skirt was probably only six inches long!  
When you added that to the mix…I blushed. It wasn't hard to figure out what type of thoughts Edward was hearing.  
"You don't have to listen!" Emmett half growled. Then his face lit up. He opened his mouth to speak, but Edward spoke first.  
"No bungee jumping either. I hardly think Charlie would approve."  
"Aw come on!" Emmett protested once again. "This isn't about Charlie, you're just overprotective.  
Edward paid no attention to Emmett's comment; in fact, he seemed to be pretending Emmett wasn't there at all.  
Emmett opened his mouth to speak again, but Alice interrupted him.  
"Oh give it a rest Emmett! You're not going to win…" Her eyes glazed over, but then she focused on Emmett again, almost immediately. "Trust me."  
Emmett made a face, then turned around and sat on a barstool.  
"Bella!" Alice chimed, jumping off the couch. She ran over to where I was standing, and tackled me in a hug so hard, I involuntarily swallowed part of my cookie I'd just taken another bite of.  
Alice's greetings usually reminded me of a five-year-old on a sugar high, normally this makes me laugh- but not with food in my mouth.  
I made a loud sound, that must have been a cross between gagging and choking, and Alice pulled away instantly, apologetically crying out. "Oops, sorry!"  
I kept coughing and gagging while Alice and Edward stared at me. "Are you okay?" Edward asked.  
I tried to nod, but only ended up coughing more. I could feel my face turning red from all my coughing.  
I took in a big gulp of air and tried to talk. "I'm …fine." I said, surprised at how raspy my voice sounded. "But, can I have some water?"  
I heard Emmett call out from the kitchen signaling that he would get me something. I walked over to the other couch, which was facing Rosalie, and sat down.  
Emmett handed me the glass a huge glass, it was probably closer to a normal pitchers size then a normal glass. Then he surprised me again by placing a huge pitcher of Lemonade down on the middle of the glass coffee table. The pitcher could probably hold 10 of my now-miniscule-in-comparison glasses.  
By now, my coughing had subsided, but my throat was very dry. Surprisingly, I downed my whole glass in no time, and even thirstily poured myself another glass.  
I barely noticed that the lemonade tasted a little different, I guessed that it was sugar free or something, I was a bit surprised that the Cullens had a pitcher of lemonade in their refrigerator, anyway. I didn't want to be picky.  
As I drank my second glass, I paid more attention to the burning aftertaste it left in my throat. I blamed it on how sore my throat had been lately, thanks to stupid allergies.  
Somehow, I was still thirsty. I had poured my third glass and had started to drink it, when Alice and Edward both gasped simultaneity.  
"What?" I tried to ask against my glass, but it came out sounding like a strangled gargle.  
As soon as I started to pour my fourth glass, Edward swiftly took the pitcher away from me.  
He turned and glared viciously at Emmett, who was leaning against the wall to my left…or was it my right? Maybe it was in front of me… "Emmett." Edward snarled the word and made a disgusted face, as if it burned his throat on the way out.  
Emmett said nothing; he only smiled smugly in return.  
"How did you not see this?!" Edward asked after turning to face Alice, perhaps a bit harsher then he should, but I could have imagined that, everything was hazy.  
"It wasn't like I was looking for it, and it was a last minute decision, Edward." Alice snapped back, and then they both turned to look at Emmett again.  
The next thing I knew I was lying down on the couch, Edwards was beside me, he had his stone arms wrapped comfortably around me, and a dark green blanket was wrapped around me like a cocoon. I felt stiff, like I hadn't moved in a while.  
My head was killing me, and to make things worse every light and sound I heard hit my migraine like a flash of lighting, making it burn and throb with pain.  
I felt sick to my stomach, and had to jump off the couch despite my headache, to run to the bathroom.  
After I'd emptied the contents of my stomach into the Cullen's rarely used toilet, and rinsed my mouth out, Alice came in. "I'd figured you need these." He marble hands made a striking comparison against the dark blue countertop, when she place two red pills on it.  
She smiled sympathetically and then turned to walk away. I murmured my thanks, and quickly swallowed the Advil.  
My thoughts were a confused jumble of questions and my pathetic answers.  
How had Alice known my head hurt? "Maybe she'd seen me complain about it…?" I mouthed to myself.  
Why did my head hurt? "Maybe it was related to my allergies...?  
I sighed and started to walk out of the bathroom, I stopped when I saw the wall clock  
Why is it 1:00 in the afternoon, when it was already 3:00 earlier?! "Because somehow it's Sunday already."  
What happened to Saturday? … I shook my head dumbstruck, somehow answering my unspoken question.  
Why does your hair look like a birds nest? I tried to run my fingers through my hair again, as if I was trying to prove the point to myself.  
What happened to your clothes? I glanced downed, needlessly reminding my self of the Alice-approved outfit I was wearing. Tan Capri's and a teal baby doll top- no doubt with designer tags.  
I walked into the populated living room, probably with a confused look scrunched up on my face.  
"Let me show her!" Emmett called out running to the t.v. He placed a disk in DVD player.  
"Show me what?" I asked cautiously, as I sat back down on the couch.  
I laid my head on Edwards shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and his other hand rubbed my arm soothingly.  
The coldness felt nice, but his need to calm me made me worry even more about the strange DVD Emmett was showing me.  
Jasper half chuckled. "I'd be just as worried as you are, Bella."  
And then Emmett face showed up, on the TV screen  
"Hi everyone! I'm making this video, because a while ago, I spiked Bella's drink." The Emmett on TV smiled. Then the camera was pointed at everyone else in the room.  
On the screen I was still sitting in-between Alice and Edward, and Edward was asking Alice how she didn't see what happened, just like I remembered. I was looking very dazed and confused, and I was swaying back and forth a little bit, it was like I was the only one underwater.  
The Rosalie on the screen was still sitting on the couch across from me. She looked mad, but was glaring at me, not Emmett. I wondered if she thought that my being drunk had just ruined her afternoon.  
On the screen, Jasper looked petrified, but then his face smoothed over into a concentrated look, and I could tell he was trying to calm everybody down.  
Outside of the screen, everybody was staring at the TV with expectant faces. Except Edward, he was staring at me, probably trying to see how I'd react.  
I should have been freaking out, or screaming at Emmett, but I was frozen. I was just staring at the TV, mesmerized.  
I didn't have time to vocalize any of my thoughts, because the Emmett on the screen said the same thing I was thinking.  
"I'm going to record it all too." The camera zoomed in on my face. "Because, there is no telling what she might do!"

A.N. There is the first chapter! This is probably going to be a three shot, Five chapters at the most.


	2. Code Names

Finally I could move and talk again. I grabbed the remote off of the arm rest, and hurriedly grabbed the remote, and paused the movie.

"Emmett!" I shouted. "W-" My mouth fell open in shock, but I recovered quickly. "Why would you do that! I probably acted like a lunatic, and now I have a hangover, and Charlie probably thought you kidnapped me or something, and it's not even legal!" I ranted like a lunatic, as I finally put all the pieces together.

"I'm only 18 and you're supposed to be 21! And then you-"

I stopped mid-sentence. No longer angry, I just felt calm and indifferent.

"Jasper." I hissed with as much anger as I could conjure up. "Don't do that! He deserves much more then me being pissed at him!"

Everyone laughed, even Edward snickered.

Emmett raised one finger as their laughter died down.

"One, because I didn't need to be Alice to know it would be funny."

He was answering my questions, each time he said a number, he'd hold up the same number of fingers.

"Two, Yes you did. It was hilarious!" He grinned, then continued. "Three, I am sorry about that. I forgot about that part of being drunk. I hope the stuff Alice gave you works. Four, no he doesn't. Alice called him. You both stayed up so late planning the wedding, you fell asleep." I nodded, that sounded legit.

"And five, who cares!"

I sighed.

Emmett reached over towards the remote I was holding tightly. "You know…" he grinned. "You don't _have_ to watch the video… you could just never know what embarrassing things you did yesterday…I mean for all you know… you could have gotten knocked up by a hobo… or you could have discovered Atlantis."

Rosalie smacked his arm, but Emmett just grinned. I yanked the remote out of his reach, sighed again, and pressed play.

The me on the TV, looked back and forth between Alice and Edward, and then put a hand on both their chests.

"Now… both of you need to stop." I slurred. "Fighting is wrong!"

Edward had sighed.

Then Jasper spoke up, "Alice, how long is she going to be like this?"

Her eyebrows had pulled together, and she had been concentrating. "I don't know." She finally said. "All I'm getting is flickers… And they keep changing!"

"Why do you think that is?" Emmett said, zooming the camera in on Alice's face.

She shrugged. "I guess it's because Bella is so drunk… even she doesn't know what she's going to do. She keeps changing her mind."

That was very easy to believe, I was still swaying back and forth like a scuba diver.

Then I had waved my hands in the air, as if trying to get someone's attention. "Helllooo!" I'd yelled stretching my lips out so far I looked like the lead singer of Aerosmith. "I'm right here!" I tried to roll my eyes (I assume that was what I was trying to do) but they just ended up bouncing from side to side. "So why are ya talking about me like um not?"

Everyone both on and off the screen laughed.

"Stop it!" I had commanded in a _very_ tough voice, that surprised me, I never talked like that. No on stopped laughing.

"Stop laughing at meh!" I screeched. If anything, the laughter got louder.

Then I'd walked over to Edward and slapped him.

The laughter on the screen stopped laughing, but everyone around me was laughing so hard, that if any of them still needed to breathe, they'd have suffocated.

I was horrified.

I looked over at Edward, shocked. "I'm so sorry." I mouthed.

He nodded, still laughing.

I turned the volume up on the TV, so I could still hear what was going on.

"Line up!" I'd ordered like a drill sergeant.

For some reason, they obeyed. I think it was because they had still been in shock. Who knew I could be so fierce?

"Okay… now I am going to give ew all code names." I'd babbled, my voice never losing the commanding tone.

I started with Jasper, and walked down the line, giving them there nicknames as I passed.

"Mood swinger."

"Demon Pixie"

"Emmy Bear." Emmett face had fallen at that one. "Emmy Bear!" He'd protested. Off of the screen, Emmett stopped laughing. "Couldn't you think of anything cool?" He asked me, smiling.

I ignored him, I figured all Jasper would let me do was ignore him.

"Desert Rose" I'd said to Rosalie. Emmett had protested again. "How come she gets a cool one!"

"Shut up!" I commanded, and for some reason, he obeyed.

Then I giggled. , the idea of me commanding a room full of vampire was hysterical.

Then I was at the end of the line. "Sexy Eddie!" I yelled.

In present time, my face fell, and everyone else broke into another round of hysterics.

I'd walked up and down the line again, my arms crossed behind my back, a serious expression on my face. I looked like a general debriefing his army.

"Okay everyone!" I'd yelled. 'Here iz what we are going to do." My drunken lisp was barely noticeable as I fired out orders.

"Emmy Bear! Find me a romantic comedy to watch! Desert Rose make sure he doesn't get anything X rated."

Of the screen, I giggled at that, Emmett made a face, and everybody else was still laughing too hard to form a coherent sentence.

Back on the TV, I screamed at Jasper.

"Control their emotions! Don't let them get too lusty! I want the movie within the hour!" For a moment Emmett had actually looked disappointed.

I continued on with my tirade.

"Sexy Eddie get me some pancakes!" Edward had looked like he was going to protest, but I moved on to Alice before he could say anything.

"Demon Pixie, give me a make-over!"

Alice had actually jumped up and down.

I'd groaned, off the screen. Then mumbled, "I think I just gave the demon permission to torture me.


	3. Heres JOHNNY!

Back on the screen, Alice had grabbed my hand and started to lead me away, a huge grin on her face. But she stopped when I "ordered" her to. "What? Demon Pixie! Heel!" I shouted. "Not until after I've had muh pancakes!"

Alice had crossed her arms and pouted, but I just ignore her. Instead, I turned and looked at Edward. "Well…I'm waiting!" I said impatiently.

Edward had just stared, confused.

Emmett chuckled, and everyone else was staring at the screen with eager anticipation.

"Um… Love, we don't have any pancakes."

"Well den, make me some!"

"We don't have all the ingredients that are necessary."

"What's missing?"

"The flour."

"You has liquor but not flour?" I raise my eyebrows.

I laughed and looked at the Edward that was off the screen. "That is a little silly." he smiled. He leaned into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me again. Then I turned my attention back to the television.

"Okay sexy Eddie, Em giving you until the end of muh makeover to find meh some pancakes. If you don't yill be in serious trouble!"

Emmett had snickered, but then tried to disguise it as a cough when I looked at him. "Um… what makes you the boss?." He asked me.

"I have Johnny." I said with and evil expression.

I laughed pretty hard at that. I mean who was this kid I thought I was holding for ransom? Emmett had snorted. "What makes you think we want him." I had stared at him, confused, but then my features smooth over and once again become the sadistic, creepy face I'd been wearing before. "No you can never have Johnny." I'd smiled. "He is my best friend and he has the power to steal powers, and to disguise himself. Right now, he is a water bottle." Everyone had tried to stifle their laughter.

"Johnny, can give meh your poweh without you knowen it… so I could be reading you minds and you wouldn't know it. " I said with a smug smile on my face. "And if Sexy Eddie doesn't give meh muh pancakes, and Demon Pixie doesn't make meh look beautiful, neither will have their powers."

"Thanks to Johnny, I can already control sugar." I crossed my arms, looking quite proud of myself.

"Oh… Okay then…" The Alice had grabbed my hand and practically dragged me up the stairs to her room.

I almost shuddered when I thought about all the tortures Alice had put me through. Then I was glad I had no memory of the day before.

"Where did she come up with Johnny?" Jasper asked.

"I have _no _idea." Edward had said, somewhat dazed.

Emmett chuckled. 'I sure was funny though"

Edward glared at him, and Jasper smiled, then changed the subject.

"We probably need to start sobering her up, huh?"

"Yes." Edward nodded. "Carisle and Esme will be home soon."

"Damn it." Emmett groaned. "They're going to have my ashes for this."

Edward growled. "If they don't I certainly will." Why was the present time Edward being to tolerable anyway? Perhaps it was because everything turned out fine… but still."

"What are you thinking?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"I was wondering why you haven't killed Emmett yet." I whispered back.

Emmett snorted and paused the movie. "I think it's because he's chicken."

Edward rolled his his eyes. "Oh please. You'd be in an urn by now if that's where I wanted you to be." He joked. "It's just because for some unfathomable reason, I liked you."

Emmett chuckled.

Edward turned back to me, "Because, we actually got a few things straightened out last night, and Emmett's been much more tolerable since then."

"What did you get straightened out?" I pressed.

"You'll found out soon enough." His breath tickled in my ear.

I made a face.

Edward laughed quietly, then kissed my cheek.

I tried to pretend that his kiss didn't effect me as much as it did. As always, my heartbeat betrayed me.

Once again I heard Emmett's booming laugh, I had a feeling I would be hearing it a lot that night. "Can we get on with the movie now?" he asked, still smiling.

I pressed the play button.

Emmett had ignored Edwards statement and turned the camera on Rosalie. "Can you go grab a movie out of the living room?" he asked. I don't want to provoke Johnny's wrath."

Rosalie smiled, then disappeared from my view. She was back in seconds, holding up two brightly colored dvd cases.

"My favorite movie?" she asked pointing to one. "Or hers?"

I briefly wondered how Rosalie knew what my favorite movie was.

"I say go with hers." Edward answered. "As astounding as your is, it's got some complex qualities that are quite hard to understand while sober."

Rosalie nodded. "Your right, of course. Who knows how she'd react."

"If we can get her to watch the movie, that's probably when we should start sobering her up."

"Yeah… I guess I've had my fun." Emmett said.

No on the screen did anything, but after a little while, Emmett called upstairs. "Alice! Hurry Up!"

"I'm trying! I just have to pick out her shoes!"

"Why is that taking so long!"

" If Bella wears the strappy stilettos I bought her, she'll break an ankle. During an open-internal-fixation surgery prior to that, a blood clot would form in her brain, and cause a stroke that will leave her mentally retarded!"

"Why don't you let her wear some ballet flats?" Rosalie joined in.

"If she wears them one will slip off , she'll step on a rusty nail, causing a bone infection. Her left foot will require amputation and she'll be dependant on a prosthetic limb. "

"Wedges?" Rosalie asked again.

"She chases after one of them after she accidentally kicks it off, gets hit by a car, and falls into a coma for 40 years."

I laughed at that, and looked at the Alice the was sitting on the couch beside me. "Don't you know me already? I'm clumsy enough without adding alcohol to my blood stream."

She smiled. "A girl can hope, can't she?

I chuckled and turned my attention back to the TV.

"Whatever!" Emmett had shouted. "Just let her go barefoot!"

Alice sighed then appeared at the top of the stairs. "I guess I have to" she said with a displeased look on her face.

Then I had appeared beside her, dressed in the same outfit I was still wearing, My hair looked much more tame, and was in soft curls that cascaded down my shoulders. My eyes were delicately outlined and aside from being heavily dilated, where beautiful. I looked great, graceful and poised.

And… then I tried to walk.

I stumbled and fell on my butt, Emmett snickered, but stopped when I flipped him the finger. Then everyone else laughed.

I tried to get up, but only fell on my stomach. Then I repeated the cycle several times, falling and flailing my limbs about, like a fish out of water.

Finally Alice, still giggling, helped me up and lead me down the stairs.

Then I stopped and pushed my way over to Emmett.

"Stop fantasizeeng about Rose!" I screeched.

"Oh… Johnny." Emmett whispered, almost dropping the camera/

Edward looked dazed.

"What!" Alice, Jasper and Rosalie all said at once.

"He really was fantasizing about Rose." Edward said softly.

_**So this chapter is dedicated to A Silent Heart. Some of the jokes in this chapter where created by hear and our crazy conversations in the Twilightdom Spam thread. Johnny is her creation, and she calls me "Sugar-high Girl" and says I have power over sugar :P.. And I call her "The Lurker" she has stalker skills!**_

_**This is the conversation in which "Johnny" was born :P (Seriously this is word for word. :D)**_

_**kaylinwriter14**__**: Lol! oh so now your not marveling my power over sugar? ;D**_

_**A Silent Heart**__**: *Nods with creepy eyes* I may try to steal them. XD**_

_**Kaylinwriter14**__**: LOL! Now how would you do that ;D**_

_**A Silent Heart**__**: I have Johnny. XD**_

_**-Creepy voice- Markie loves the precious. *Evil laugh***_

_**Sorry, but that is what happens when you talk to the lurker. XD**_

_**kaylinwriter14**__**: Haha! What makes you think I want him? :D**_

_**Don't worry I love talking to the lurker XD And I'm pretty sure the lurker understands the consequences of talking to sugar high girl.**_

_***Twitches, then eyes travel creepily to the door***_

_**A Silent Heart**__**: No, you can never have Johnny. He is my best friend and he has the power to steal powers, and to disguise himself. Right now, he is a water bottle. XD**_


End file.
